Reactivity

This week's theme is reactivity, which in short means that we are in a state where we will only act on the basis of our feelings, and not out of the situation we are in. We only react on the acute and automatic trigger. Before we go any further on this, we must look to our childhood.

When we are children, we are at the mercy of our surroundings. Whether you had caregivers who

drank, struggled with mental illness, had narcissistic tendencies or otherwise was emotionally unavailable to you, whether it was only once or every single time, this will be reflected in your programming. With programming, I mean all those things you were told or learned, either verbally or by observing the environment around you, this will have shaped you  to who you are today with your value system, thoughts and feelings. Whatever you have experienced, not experienced or should have experienced, you have today a number of things that trigger you. Perhaps you can often be extremely angry, have panic attacks or other acute reactions to anything going on around you. These triggers are good indications that there was something in what you just experienced that it is worth taking a closer look at.

When we talk about reactivity, we'll talk about those cases where we instinctively react to what you are experiencing, without taking the experience through the body or mind first. This is comparable to what happens when you put your hand on a hot plate, there is a frequent reflex that makes you quickly pull your hand back without having to think about it first. In this case with the hot plate, this type of reflex is useful, if not vital. This is however not the case when we are talking about reactivity in relation to emotions. Very often we can see this when we react very strongly to a situation that basically is small or trifling. The reason why you reacted to this situation is NEVER that you are being dramatic, or "just want attention" as many like to think. But there was something in this situation that triggered a memory you have. Often it could be a smell or the tone of someone's voice. Maybe it was someone who spoke with a loud and brusque voice that took you unconsciously directly back to childhood, where you in the now acutely react and fire off a series of violent emotions.

When you experience this, it is a unique way for you to stop and find out what really was triggering you and why. Admittedly, it is quite sure that this will be impossible for you to do in the moment, but that in retrospect, when you come to yourself again, can take a closer look at. What happened? What do you think you reacted to? What does the situation reminds you of? What in this situation requires you to take a deeper dive into your being?

Your emotions are never wrong, and can never be exaggerated. Therefore, it is important to address this, not because you reacted to something that you should stop responding to, but because your emotions is trying to tell you that there was something in this situation that you reacted to. Take it seriously and try to be present in the violent emotions instead of either feeling shame or blame others.

If you need help with this prosess you can contact me at www.kristinectora.com