My anxiety journey - From panic to clarity

The second I woke up I felt it. The feeling of the walls crushing in on me. I`m dizzy, my heart is racing, and I can`t formulate a single thought. All I sense is the terrifying feeling of panic and anxiety. I`m closing my eyes, frantically looking for calming thoughts. I know I had some good techniques for this specific occasion, because I have used years practising it. But I can't seem to remember a single thing. It`s all panic,no reason, no logic.

Suddenly there is a helping thought coming through. BREATH! I reassure myself that the only reason why I`m dizzy is because I`m afraid, which causes my breathing to change, which then leads to the feeling of being dizzy and short-breathed. Since I didn't listen the first time, I try to say it once more with a more strict and reassuring voice.

I`m starting with the best technique I know, breathing in through my nose while I count to 4, and out through my mouth. While doing this I keep explaining to myself why I do this. Why it's through my nose and out my mouth, and why I count to 4. I work hard to think logical. I start to breath. In 1-2-3-4 and out 1-2-3-4, in 1-2-3-4 an out 1-2….it's not working. Why doesn't it work? Does this mean that something really is wrong with me this time? Oh my God, there IS something wrong with me! So it`s here i'm going to die..29 and dead from a heart attack. My head fills up with million dark thoughts. I can feel my energy spiraling down, and I suddenly can't remember me feeling anything other than the way I feel now. The thoughts are rushing, my clients will think I `m a fraud, I can't even teach myself how to breath, that's how a terrible coach I am. And i'm fat and ugly, I don't know why, but this for sure has something to do with this!

And then, suddenly a clear thought pierced through my panic. Panic is emotion, and logic don't work on emotion! Suddenly I remembered a deal I made with myself. No more repressing emotion! I have to feel ,and completely be there. So instead of fighting and trying to do all my logical techniques, I began to feel. I close my eyes and I felt into my energy and into my emotions. Without reasoning, and without trying to change my feelings. I just let the feelings come. I felt how my head was full of dark thoughts, and how my head felt full and tight. I felt how it was almost like my body was crushed, like I was lying in a tiny coffin. I completely let myself go and went inside to the scared inner child. And then as magic, my anxiety went away and my body was left with a heavy, calm feeling which made me fall asleep.

The best thing you can do is to turn your face toward the storm and let the storm run you over. This is easy to say, but If you have ever been where I was tonight, you know it is the hardest thing you will ever do!

5 myths about introverts

Here are 5 myths about introverts that I think is interesting!

1

Introverts don't like to talk

This is not right. To be introvert in it self has nothing to do with enjoying to talk or not. But what might be right however, is that introverts don't like shallow talk. Small talk where the point of the conversation is to talk about the weather feels meaningless and uncomfortable. Why can't we talk about what really matters?

2

Introvert and shy is the same thing

No! To be shy and to be introvert is two different types of personality characteristics. To be an introvert person is defined by someone who gets their energy from within and by doing activities alone, such as reading, writing and thinking. To be a shy person is defined by how you deal with unfamiliar and new situations and people. If you are shy, you have a hard time meeting new people and situations. So, you can be shy, you can be an introvert, or you can be a shy introvert. But one has nothing to do with the other.

3

Introverts can fix themselves and become extroverts

Again, Introverts and extroverts are two personality characteristics. One is not better than the other, it's simply just a part of two different personality structures! Introversion is in no way something that should be fixed! It`s not a disease, and it has nothing to do with you being broken!

4

Introverts are not social, and don't like to be with other people.

Introverts can be social, just like extroverts can. The difference though, is that as an introvert you have a need for deeper conversations and quiet time. You get more easily overwhelmed by sounds and surroundings which might lead to you leaving earlier. But that has nothing to do with you liking to be social or not!

5

Introverts are more negative and lazy

I think the reason for this myth is that introverts tend to need their space and to do quiet activities such as reading and thinking. And like I mentioned in the myth number 4, introverts tend to leave the party first, if we want to show up at all! For some people this might translate to being negative and lazy, but it's not true!

5 signs your third eye is opening

First of all, what is the third eye?

When I talk about the third eye, I refer to your third eye chakra. Also called the inner eye, or  the pineal gland. In Ancient Egypt this part of you was called "the seat of the soul".  You may have heard a clairvoyant or intuitive say they see something that you might not see, in most cases this is not about what we see physically, but we see it through our third eye. When we develop our intuition, we open up the third eye, and when we do this we normally experience some symptoms. Here  are 5 of them:

1. Reinforced senses - clairvoyance
You begin to sense things you might not have noticed before. This causes you to think deeper, and you realize that what you can see and feel is just a fraction of what exists. You may also begin to know and feel into other people's emotions, and this can often be perceived as difficult, as most people you meet at any time experience a lot of feelings.
2. Synchronizations
You begin to notice synchronizations, and get drawn to become familiar with the law of attraction. You begin to see that people and situations you meet on your way posess a common theme that are a match to your situation right now. The longer you're going on your journey by opening the third eye, the faster synchronization happens. Suddenly you are at a point where you manifest wonderful things, and likewise, suddenly manifesting the opposite( not so good things).
3. Questioning everything.
 You start to question everything you've ever thought and learned. You begin to see that the reality you once knew does not exist, and this opens up new paradigms, new experiences and new ways of thinking.
4. More concerned with health than before.
 You start to get a different view of health than you previously had. You begin to acquire a mode of thought that is all about "eat to live", oppose to "live to eat". Not because you suddenly force yourself to it, but because you naturally begin to yearn for cleaner and greener food.
5. You experience ascension symptoms. 
 This means that you begin to assume a higher frequency than the one you previously had, it means that you may experience some symptoms that could be not so pleasing. These symptoms include headaches, ringing in the ears, fatigue, anxiety and anxiety symptoms (especially if you've been struggling with this earlier in your life) and you can easily become overstimulated and need more alone time than before.

When equality goes too far

We live in a world that is very concerned with equality. Everyone should have equal opportunity, everyone should have equal rights, but at what point does equality become discriminatory and misunderstood? In keeping with the theme of diversity in school I want to  write about my perspective on this area both as a Special Educator, and based on personal experience with the school system.

I dare say that the school, in general, are made on extroverted privilege. Shouldn't it rather be so that professionals and other responsible adults start to see the kids for who they are, and offer teaching on their premises`, instead of directing all attention to what they think is a negative aspect of you? For that is precisely what happens when you say to an introvert, you must talk more and be more active in class. It interprets by the child as a message from someone the child looks up to that you are not good enough as you are.

Inclusion is an important topic in the special education field, and in society in general. The problem is, as I see it, that inclusion and equality are often put together and sometimes misunderstood, perhaps especially in school situations. In order for everyone to have equal opportunities it isn't so that everyone must also have equal resources and equal learning.

There are many levels of this, and of course it all completely depends on the individual person and situation. I want to focus on two different, extremely, wide groups. One is the group with disabilities who for various reasons will always be long behind, if we talk in terms of normality and deviance in the school system. The second group I want to address is the quiet students, a group that is close to my heart.

According to Professor Emeritus Edvard Befring at the University of Oslo, the current school has neglected learning. By this he means that one has too narrow a conception of what learning is. Today's school is almost exclusively concerned with skill learning and cognitive learning. But for instance attitude and moral teaching is as important, if not more, important in many areas. This means among other things that to acquire the means capacity for self-regulation which inter alia means that one learns to take responsibility for their own resources, thus mobilizing forces. For many of the children who fall far behind in the school system, either due to decreased abilities or other reasons, there will always be so that they will remain far behind no matter how much they struggle. The good news though, is that many studies have shown that it takes so little to change the child's entire life. The keywords are positive focus and  to find a field of expertise. By field of expertise, it means that you find a field in which the student has talent and get motivation from, such as in music or sports. It is also important for all children, regardless of their functionality, to experience symmetrical communication, ie the need to communicate with children in a similar situation as them self (Befring 2008). I've been lucky enough to have witnessed this on several occasions in which children for long periods have not received the help they are entitled to, so to witness enormous changes in all areas when the special education resources are inserted. It is often the small changes that make up a big difference both socially, physically and psychologically.

The second group I mentioned earlier is the quiet kids. The children who internalize. The reason why this group is close to my heart is because I am myself in this group, and it was often hard in school. We as professionals and other responsible adults must see the importance of being sensitive to world experience of the child. Often it feels like society in general has a subconscious opposition to the quiet childrens, that they must be helped to become extroverted and to be equal to the others in the class who have no trouble raising their hand. I'm talking about are those who by nature is internalized, introverted. Maybe they are highly sensitive, and perhaps thrive in their own company. For these children school life can be difficult to deal with.