My journey to overcome my anxiety. | Goal: mountain hiking alone |

I want to start to share some more personal experiences. The reason for this is that I strongly believe in openness and authenticity. One theme that I'm very passionate about is openness about mental illness. By being open and honest about some of my difficulties in life I hope to reach you who also struggle with something similar. It's better to struggle together than alone :)

The story I wanted to share with you today is linked to my panic anxiety and agoraphobia. I am scared of walking alone, and it does not really matter much where. If I walk in my neighborhood, the forest or city, usually my anxiety symptoms are the same. It`s hard to say exactly why, but some of the reasons is that I`m scared that I will get dizzy and faint, or get so sick that I`m not able to get home. I'm also scared of what other people might think about me.

So here are my story about reaching one of my goals right now:

view from my hike

We have a cabin on a mountain in Norway, and behind this cabin there are endless hiking possibilities. One of my goals was to be able to walk alone up to the first of the tops behind this cabin. Last summer my anxiety was so bad that I did not go further than a couple of steps before I felt all those terrifying anxiety symptoms, and my head got filled up with hundreds of chaotic thoughts. It feels so bad when you suffer from paralyzing anxiety, but even worse when all those judging thoughts comes about how pathetic and what a failure I am for not even being able to go on a small hike.

The last 6 months I have really worked on exposing myself to this particular anxiety. How I specifically do this is for a later time. So when we this weekend went to the cabin I felt for the first time that I was ready to try out my goal. Hike to the first top! Keep in mind that we do not talk about mount everest here, it's only a 30 minutes walk all together, but for me it feels like an impossible thing to do on my own! The terrain is rugged, so you have to be focused - or in my head: not get dizzy and not be able to get anywhere. And there are no roads, so if something did happen to me, my husband can't come and get me. In my head this transfers to certain suicide!

On our way home

With my goal strong in mind I embarked on my journey with my dog, Luna. I don't know what made my pulse the highest, all my terrifying thoughts, or the fact that it's steep uphill all the way. But it actually went ok! I went to the top and took my time enjoying the view! It actually went so good that the next day, I went there one more time, but this time I kept going and found a new path further down the mountain! All alone!

It might look like a small goal, but for me in my situation this was a very proud moment, and it showed me that all my hard work and all my hard times paid off!

What is your big goal?

If you want to read more about my anxiety and what I do to overcome it, here are some blog suggestions:

9 tips for tough times:

http://kristinectora.blogspot.no/2016/05/9-tips-for-tough-times.html

And

My turning point

http://kristinectora.blogspot.no/2016/05/my-turning-point.html