Inner Child Work

In this blog post I will address inner child work, also called shadow work, as this can be a hard concept to wrap our minds around sometimes. It's a psychological fact that the most mental disorders and destructive behavior patterns are a result of of unresolved childhood trauma, this is why we call it the inner child.

The inner child will not evolve past trauma that is not being properly taken care of and treated. Let's say that you at 4 years old experienced a trauma. Keep in mind that trauma in most cases will not necessarily involve being beaten and locked in your room for months. Although this unfortunately sometimes is the case. I dare to say that for most of us , the trauma is more subtle in nature, like for instance emotional neglect. Those times you were ignored, or you got shamed for your so called negative emotions etc. At the moment you experience the trauma, your emotional body stops growing. This means that even though your physical body might be 30, your emotional body still is 4. And you have to treat it accordingly. Let's say you're now in a marriage that does not work the way you've hoped, so you go to a marriage counselor to get advice, and you're the one who experienced the trauma at 4 years old. If you in this situation is being handed tools to improve the adult you in the situation, let's say tools for improving your communication, this will NOT work for your core issue.

So what will work? You have to treat yourself at the level you are at. You would not treat a 4 year old child the same way you would treat a 30 year old adult. This is where the inner child work comes in. We have to internally treat the inner child by listening and unconditionally being there. In other words, we have to internally do exactly what a loving parent will to their physical child. If your child came crying to you, would you turn your back to him/her and said " I can't look at you, and your pain has got nothing to do with me! So go away!" Hopefully you would not! So then why are you doing that to yourself on a daily basis?

Inner child work is about taking care of your inner emotions and conditions like it was this physical child. This does not only have to be in real-time. The real inner child work begins when we start "time traveling". This may sound strange, but it is very much possible, and easy, to use your consciousness to travel in time back to the first time this trauma was brought on and change the frequency of your memory. Please note that this is a practise that is well known and used method in psychology, which is traced back to Carl Jung (1875-1961) who was  a psychiatrist and psychotherapist who founded “Analytical psychology”. Carl Jung is known as the originator of the concept of inner child with his work “divine child archetype”. So for those of you who felt  that this was a bit metaphysical for your taste, I insure you that this is a method that is much used in popular psychology today.

For more about how to use this method in your own life. This is something I will come back to at a later time. It is also something I can help you with in a private session with me.

Distant healing

I wanted to write about what I think is important that you know about distant healing, and what you can do to make most of the distant healing session.

What is healing?

Healing is a natural process. The way I look at healing is that the energy helps your body to function at its best potential. Sometimes it will take away pain, and other times it will deal with the cause of the pain. The latter is my goal. You can look at your issue, whatever it may be, like a tree. If you only deal with the branches and not the roots, you will not get better in the long run. Generally speaking, the healing will work on the cause of your problem rather than the symptoms alone.

How does a distant healing session work?

Before we start it is beneficial that you make yourself comfortable, sit or lie down, it does not matter in which way, all that matter is that you are able to relax as much as possible, with as few distractions as possible. Some people find that relaxing music is helpful. While you relax I will work with your energy in the parameters of the intention that has been set. In a one to one healing session I will either call you back or meet you back on Facebook. It depends on which contact method you chose. We will then have a quick talk about whatever got brought to my attention during the session. If you wanted the 30 minute healing we will stop here. If you booked 60 minutes, the approximately first 30 minutes will contain healing, and the last 30 will be more in the line of an intuitive consultation.

Special information about distant group healing sessions:

In a distant group healing situation we will not set an intention as a group, but I will connect to the collective consciousness of the particular group, and work on the issue or situation that the group represents. Because of the law of attraction, everyone in the group who participates at the event at hand will have a common issue or will deal with common factors in their life. This is because we have to be a match on some level to interact with each others energy.

How I crawled out of my black hole

I wanted to write about how I crawled out of the deep, black hole I felt I was in for a long time, because this is something that effect many of us. Many of my clients have this particular problem, and believe me, I have been there. You feel stuck, tired, afraid, and like there is nothing you can do to get to a better place in your life. It is the closest we can get to hell, being in a bad situations with no possibility to escape. 

I have been there many times, it comes and goes in shorter and longer periods. Sometimes darker than others. My absolute worst experience with this was in 2007. I lived in a small apartment alone, and for the first time the walls really came crushing down. At this time I don't think I really knew what was going on. I was depressed and so anxious all the time. Most of the time I was in my tiny apartment alone, in my bed or on my couch. I always had the curtains closed because I was so afraid that anyone would see me. If I had to go out for some reason, I ran to my car and I did everything as fast as I could, and than I ran back inside and made sure to really shut the door behind me. I don't even know what I was so afraid of. I had no energy to do anything, no dishes and not cleaning, nothing. I generally felt like a fat, ugly loser with no chance in succeeding in anything in life, apart from being right there under my blanket. I used to force myself to go to sleep early so that the night wouldn't be that long. It was a living hell.

This cycle went on for many years. In periods I was ok, and in others I was really not ok. And like many of us, I didn't tell a single soul how I really felt like. As I have written in another blog, the last time this happened was january 2015, and it hit me like a brickwall.

The breakthrough though, was that I suddenly saw all my problem differently, I started developing my intuition after going to a healer, and I started to view myself, my issues and the world in a completely different way. I started to see that many of my problems was because of my sensitivity, most of my “stuff” wasn't even mine! I startet to treat my feelings and thoughts with unconditional love. And of course this is  an ongoing process that in no way happens over night. I started to really see that I was the one in charge of my life! I have to come to myself with care and love, and not by being hateful and harsh like I always have been. I have to take care of myself as a highly sensitive person and an empath. I also find that it really helps to be open and authentic about my problems.

I know you might not believe me, and I know you might think that I was in a different experience than you, and that what you struggle with is something no one can come out of. I lovingly and respectfully disagree! YOU are the architect of your life experience. You just have to find the right tools that suites you. There is no mystery or “bad luck” to your situation. There is one or many reasons to why you today feel the way you do, it's just a matter of pinpointing it and healing your wounds. I will not lie, it will be the hardest thing you ever have to do, but in the end I promise you, you will never look back once your eyes are open!

7 tips to develop your intuition

1. Meditate. For me, meditation is important because it's about stopping thought and finding your own energy. When you know how your energy feels like, it is easier to recognize and interpret others.

2. Emotions. In my opinion you can't connect with your intuition without developing your connection to your emotions. The reason for this is that most of the communication and reading of energy is interpreted through your emotions.

3. Practice your focus. There are many ways to do this. One way is to see a picture or a person in your mind's eye, it could also be a color or shape, like a red dot. As often as you can, try to hold your attention on the red dot without any interference. This is much harder than it sounds!

4. Drink water. It is important to keep the channel, which is you, clear. Water helps to clean out your body, amongst many other things.

5. Play! You have to have a sense of play, too much pressure and seriousness will block your flow!

6. Find your heart! It is important to connect with your heart. Many of us will have problems with this, so techniques for finding, and living from your heart is important.

7. Practice! It's important to practice your ability and interpret what made you correct, and what made it so you interpret it wrong. You have to develop and learn your own “language”. Some ways to practice is to try to predict the weeks news or weather, try finding something that is  hidden or lost and practice reading people. Most importantly, have fun with it!

Emotional neglect.

In my experience and opinion emotional neglect is a big undermentioned problem in our society. Emotional neglect is often subtle in nature, which makes it so the recipient almost doesn't think that it is as harmful as it really is, and maybe don't even notice it. It could be the times you felt not seen or when your emotions wasn't mirrored, heard or you did not feel important to you parents or others around you. Emotional pain leaves no scars. Your teachers can't see your bruises and figure it out. That being said, as a special educator I know there are many ways to observe a child and see signs of emotional neglect, but in my experience, this is sadly not as high up in the teacher's agenda as it should be! And another important issue is that if you don't recognize that the way someone is treating you is wrong, how can you ask for help?

What makes emotional neglect so hard to heal is that we talk about the things that never

happened to you! When we talk about physical neglect we often think about a parent hitting their child, or even sexual abuse. witch I in no shape or form is taking lightly or is saying isn't bad! The fact is thou, by enduring emotional neglect you may not even know that it happened to you and there is no hard evidence, because your parents may have been so nice! They may have given you everything you needed and wanted, and you think of them as really good parents. Later on in life you maybe struggle with anxiety or depression, but you feel like there is no reason why, or no reason good enough for you to struggle like you do! You had this perfect childhood and you feel like you have no reason to feel upset or anxious, maybe you're just ungrateful and a bad person?

My point is not that your parents was evil or had bad intentions that you never knew about, but that your parents also had parents that didn't care for their emotions, and their parents before them. Your parents may have meant well when they yelled at you for being angrily or when you told them that your didn't like something. But what it really did was do so you question yourself and your emotions, and when your emotions gets you into trouble, you shut them down to survive in your environment. It's a perfect strategy, at least for a very short while until we shut down and suddenly can't function and can't trust yourself anymore. It is so much easier to heal problems you know about or have evidence of, and most of the time emotional neglect don't fall into that category.

Let's take one example. Let's say you hated school and asked not to go one day, maybe someone was mean to you or something made you feel not safe, and your parents said “we have to do things we don't like to do”, so you went anyway. And you wonder why you today is in a shitty situation and you can't do anything because you have to “hold on”? Or your parents told you to stop crying and being upset one or many times because you had, in their opinion, nothing to cry about. In fact, they may even say that you destroyed the day for them with your attitude.Thay shamed you for feeling that way. And now as an adult you can't seem to figure out what's your purpose in life is . Witch in my opinion is not weird at all, because what you really learned from them, is that your emotions are wrong, and you shouldn't be feeling that way. How can you know if any emotion you have is correct? So you suck it up and continue living the life that makes you go down a spiral of anxiety and self-destructive

If this is you, you have to look in the seem of your childhood on the things that never happened, but should have happened. You should have had parents who mirrored and validated your emotions, and saw you for being you and not an extension of himself. When you didn't want to go to school they should have asked you way and let you know that they understood how you felt and in that way you could figure out something together. Every time something made you upset, angry or happy they should be there validating you, and make you feel safe in your emotions. It is perfectly normal to feel like you do if this was your childhood!

9 tips for tough times

For many years I have dealt with anxiety, so I know how difficult and hard it is! In my darkest times I felt like I didn't recognize myself anymore ,I was scared all the time and at my worst I had panic attacks around the clock. I felt like a faceless nobody, and I felt like there was nothing for me in this life. So please believe me when I say, I see your pain! It's important for me state that using this tips didn`t make me feel accomplished and blissed the next morning, it is a long process.The good news however is that when you're not feeling good, small steps goes a long way to start feeling better! I believe these tips will be useful to you when you're not at a dark place as well, as I still use them regularly! So here we go, 9 tips to find yourself when you're feeling lost :

1. Talk to someone! Please don't think that you have to be alone in what you're going through. It could be a professional, a friend or others you trust!  

2. Have patience with yourself! I know it's hard, and I know that it seems life is not going fast enough. But I promise you, finding some patience and gentleness with yourself will speed up the process!

3. Turn your mind inwards! We live in a time where there often is all about mind-energy. We have to exide, master and show the world on Facebook how happy we are. Start playing with mindfulness, yoga and/or meditation. Note that everything is not for everyone, so find your way to YOUR heart. When I started out with meditation I couldn't close my eyes because I felt out of control and dizzy, which led me to feel panic. If you for some reason feel like something is stopping you from this, think about life hack number 2, patience! To begin with I listened to guided meditations on Youtube with my eyes open, and slowly but surely I got there!

4. Put yourself first, always! You can't take care of everyone around you if you are not well! Put the oxygen mask on yourself before helping others, you can't help anyone if you're the first to go!

5.  Do your shadow work and inner child work! If this is new to you, it's all about finding the root cause to your problems and blocks. Let the healing begin!

6, Do what feels good. Even if you're in a place where all you see is darkness, try to find out what things you can do to feel relief in your day. What can you do in the next 5 minutes to feel relief? Maybe taking a hot shower, a cup of tea or coffee or going outside to breath?

7. Allow yourself to feel safe and comforted! Do you feel like all you can accomplish today is to hide under the covers? You are totally allowed to do so! It does not matter if your dishes are colliding with the roof!  

8. Ignore ignorant comments! Many people don't understand your situation because they are blessed and never have been where you are! How many haven't heard that you`re lazy, faking or similar statements. It does not matter, because you and I knows that it's not the case!

9. Take your emotions seriously! What you feel is never wrong, It's not possible to be dramatic, over-sensitive, excessive or over-anything. The emotions that comes forward in the moment does so because you have good reasons for it, and it can never be exaggerated or wrong in any way!

Use the tips that resonates with you and leave the rest :)

Shift in human consciousness

Timelines are speeding up. Chances are that you since approximately 2012 have been experiencing symptoms of this. Maybe you have been feeling that your life felt apart or that something shifted in your life that caused everything to change. This is the case for many of us. Many people, me included, felt like the floor gave in under us. By this I don't mean that you suddenly woke up one morning and realised that you are a divine being and felt pure bliss, more in the way that many changes happened in a relative short amount of time that left you feeling lost, stranded and even stuck.  It is time to give attention to our hearts. And I know that for many people this sounds like a clichè from a Hollywood movie, but it really is true!

The good thing about the time speeding up is that if you have the desire to heal your heart and mind, this is the time for you! It also makes it so there are incredible how fast you can change your life, more so than ever. I have in many occasions seen how fast people turn their life around in a relative short amount of time. The bad part is, if anything ever can be either good or bad, is that it's harder to live a disconnected life than before. This is the reason why many of us find ourselves in a place where it feels like everything is getting striped from our lifes. In many ways it may feel like the universe is making it so that your only choice is to wake up, by pushing you into a corner! That being said, I can feel that many will read this and feel that the universe is cruel or that the universe is punishing you, but I promise you, that is very far from the case!

I will be the first to say that at times it's very painful when you feel that you are stuck and that healing is impossible from where you stand,  but I also know that it's never impossible! An important spiritual life-hack that I learned along my journey and really feel is true, is that you don't have to learn how to be happy, because that is your natural state. For me this is very important, because for me this means that you don't have to struggle to be happy and positive, the real healing begins when you start to go inward and be the unconditional parent for yourself that you never had!  You need to learn to come back to yourself with love. This is a topic of it's own which I will get more into in another post at a later time.

You have to learn to believe that you are the divine being that you truly are!  

My turning point

In January 2015 I had a big turning point. 1,5 year prior to this I had finished my Bachelor`s degree in Special education, and I quickly got a good job in this field. Sadly though, it only lasted for 6 months because of cutbacks in the company. After being almost 1 year unemployed, I got an internship at a school as a special educator. I really thought that this was my dream job, but this quickly turned.

Only one week in I started to feel very anxious while at work,even though everyone I worked with was wonderful. I started taking breaks alone on the toilet just to get some time alone to breath. Every day on the way to and from work I cried because I felt so overpowered, tired and afraid, and I didn't understand why. After only 2 weeks I had to pull back from the internship, and I went to the doctor to get a sick leave.

The 6 months was tough, I was extremely fatigued, dizzy and worst of all had general anxiety and panic attacks every day.  I was afraid of being alone and everything I did gave me all the anxiety symptoms you can think of.

So here I was, afraid of even going to the bathroom by myself. But one day for some reason I do not understand I went to the website of a healer I had heard about, and even weirder, I ordered a session with him. In all my anxiety it suddenly felt so logical and safe to go there even though a trip to the mailbox was a challenge for me at that point. I went and it was really great, and for the first time in 6 months I felt a sense of calmness. In the car on my way home I remember I could feel my thigh muscles relaxing, and it was like I sat ON the seat and not above it like before.

The next week I started at a Reiki healing course with the healer I mentioned above. It was amazing because I have always been a sensitive and spiritual person, but I think I have always repressed it and not owed it in a way. It felt like I at once remembered everything I didn't know I knew, if that makes sense. I started feeling other people's physical and psychological pain and knowing things there is no way I could had known.

I really think that I could no longer continue with doing what I thought I was supposed to do. I was supposed to get a good education, then a good job and in the end a well paid job. Everything I thought I knew had to get stripped of me to finally start to see who I truly am.

At the same time I feel that it is important of me to point out that everything didn't get perfect as by magic. I still struggle with anxiety and I'm still on my way to recovery, and that is something I want to be honest about because I think it is really important to throw away our masks and talk about our struggles.